I was taken aback by an article written by a writer for the Kent Reporter about a month ago.(Dec. 13, “What I saw through a child’s eyes,” by Walter Backstrom.)
He was criticizing a mother’s reaction to her child in a mall. The mother had yelled at the child in public. The writer for the Reporter had kindly pointed out how this was not appropriate parenting and for every horrible comment made it took a thousand to make up for what the mother said.
I reflected on my own childhood. I laughed and thought of the time that my mother left me on the side of the road and said she wasn’t coming back. She did! I can imagine what that would have looked like to this columnist who was so taken aback by a mother scolding and putting down her child in public. My, how we have come such a long way in parenting as a society to think that even putting down your child in public, or yelling, makes you a bad parent to others. It’s a celebration to think that we have come so far in our parenting.
Yet, it leaves me wondering why we are still passing judgment on fellow parents. The same moms and dads who are trying to be the best parents they know how to be with the skills they have.
It brings me back to the belief I have always in my heart and even more so now that I am a mother. This belief that you never know what someone else’s story is until you ask.
I am thinking that after a night of no sleep, now shower, little alone time and a fussy child I am liable to look like a mother in need of some serious intervention. I may sound and act like a mother who just needs to be given a break for a moment.
Just a moment of understanding, a smile or some help! It’s very easy to pass judgment on others’ parenting styles, the way they talk with children, and how they manage behavior. It’s even harder to take a moment to understand another parent’s story.
I challenge you the next time you are at the mall and you see a mother or a father in a difficult situation with a child, to try and see their story, instead of passing judgment.
Khadijah Amoush, Kent
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