E.T. for the holidays? Kent Reporter columnist weighs in

I know it sounds really strange, but I do my best thinking in the shower. For some reason, it’s the one place my brain seems to fire correctly and the ideas flow. Yesterday, for example, I was thinking while showering, “I wonder what extra-terrestrials would think about our Christmas celebrations?” I conjured up so many thoughts on that subject that I used up all the hot water in the shower.

Kent Reporter columnist and mega quilter Joyce Becker.

Kent Reporter columnist and mega quilter Joyce Becker.

I know it sounds really strange, but I do my best thinking in the shower. For some reason, it’s the one place my brain seems to fire correctly and the ideas flow. Yesterday, for example, I was thinking while showering, “I wonder what extra-terrestrials would think about our Christmas celebrations?” I conjured up so many thoughts on that subject that I used up all the hot water in the shower.

Could there be E.T.’s out there in space looking down upon us studying our bizarre behavior come Dec. 1 of every year. Could they be thinking, “Why are these humanoids chopping down their beloved trees when they are so concerned about global warming?” Or, perhaps they may scratch their weird-shaped, little green heads and think, “Why do Homosapiens climb up ladders to place funny flashing lights on their dwellings – are they trying to make contact with us or what?”

When the people from outer space study us, do they wonder who the big fat guy is that wears a red suit and ask themselves, “Why does this roly poly old dude have all these children around him – and why does he only hang around shopping malls for just one month?

ADVERTISEMENT
0 seconds of 0 secondsVolume 0%
Press shift question mark to access a list of keyboard shortcuts
00:00
00:00
00:00
 

Can you imagine how disjointed we must appear to the aliens on Christmas morning? A bunch of crazed humans gathered around a half-dead tree that has seen better days, whopping it up like savages, ripping the pretty paper off all of the boxes while we scream with delight … If the “E.T.s” can actually see us, they must wonder what the holy heck is going on!!!

Have you ever wondered if people from outer space eat? If they don’t, can you imagine their thoughts watching us devour our Christmas dinner? Maybe the little green men from outer space are green because they are vegetarians and they think our “eating of the flesh” habits are barbaric. God only knows what we’d do if we couldn’t chomp down on a slab of rare prime rib or a turkey drumstick on Christmas! Can you imagine not having some sort of meat or poultry and all the accouterments on Christmas? Could we really manage on a meager diet of veggies for our Christmas celebration? No mashed potatoes, no gravy, no green bean casserole, no crescent rolls, or decorated Christmas cookies? Holy smokes, I almost forgot fruit cake. I wonder if little green men eat fruit cake. I’ll gladly give them the whole darn thing.

Merry Christmas and Happy Stitching!


Talk to us

Please share your story tips by emailing editor@kentreporter.com.

To share your opinion for publication, submit a letter through our website https://www.kentreporter.com/submit-letter/. Include your name, address and daytime phone number. (We’ll only publish your name and hometown.) Please keep letters to 300 words or less.

More in News

File Photo, Kent Reporter
6-year-old boy drowns in pond on Kent’s East Hill

Child reportedly had autism and was drawn to the water on March 25, according to police

Valley Medical Center in Renton. Photo by Bailey Jo Josie/Sound Publishing.
Layoffs at Valley Medical Center stem from loss of funding

101 nonunion employees were fired March 25 from Renton hospital that also serves Kent.

t
FBI honors teen girls who helped stop abduction in Kent

They rescued 6-year-old girl from man in July 2024 in parking lot of apartment complex

t
Kent Police Blotter: March 11-23

Incidents include naked female, robbery with a syringe, assault, harassment

Kent Mayor Dana Ralph, fourth from left, stands with the Kent City Council, from left to right, John Boyd, Toni Troutner, Zandria Michaud, Satwinder Kaur, Brenda Fincher, Marli Larimer and Bill Boyce. COURTESY PHOTO, City of Kent
Cost-of-living pay hikes approved for Kent mayor, City Council

A 3.6% increase boosts mayor’s annual salary to $219,720; part-time council members to earn $37,296 per year

The city-owned Riverbend Golf Complex in Kent turned a profit in 2024 for the third consecutive year. COURTESY FILE PHOTO, City of Kent Parks
Riverbend Golf Complex in Kent turns profit for 3rd consecutive year

City-owned facility continues to reap financial benefits of par 3 course sale in 2017

Dow Constantine. COURTESY PHOTO
Board recommends Dow Constantine as new Sound Transit CEO

In his 16th year as King County executive and on the Sound Transit Board; pay could be $675,000 annually

Maleng Regional Justice Center in Kent. FILE PHOTO
Man receives nearly 18-year sentence for Kent hotel murder

Phillip Jonathan Lopez beat up his girlfriend in June 2021 at Ramada Inn

t
Kent’s Martin Sortun Elementary receives Special Olympics honor

Recognized as a National Special Olympics Unified Champions School

t
Kent mayor highlights new city facilities during annual address

Kent East Hill Operations Center to open later this year; administrative offices to move

Lake Meridian. FILE PHOTO, City of Kent
Kent burglary suspect jumps into Lake Meridian in attempt to flee

Officers catch the 31-year-old man after he left lake and ran through several backyards in March 17 incident

t
Kent City Council plans to establish Stay Out of Drug Areas

Attempt to reduce drug activity in downtown, along Meeker Street corridor and near 104th/240th on East Hill