E.T. for the holidays? Kent Reporter columnist weighs in

I know it sounds really strange, but I do my best thinking in the shower. For some reason, it’s the one place my brain seems to fire correctly and the ideas flow. Yesterday, for example, I was thinking while showering, “I wonder what extra-terrestrials would think about our Christmas celebrations?” I conjured up so many thoughts on that subject that I used up all the hot water in the shower.

Kent Reporter columnist and mega quilter Joyce Becker.

Kent Reporter columnist and mega quilter Joyce Becker.

I know it sounds really strange, but I do my best thinking in the shower. For some reason, it’s the one place my brain seems to fire correctly and the ideas flow. Yesterday, for example, I was thinking while showering, “I wonder what extra-terrestrials would think about our Christmas celebrations?” I conjured up so many thoughts on that subject that I used up all the hot water in the shower.

Could there be E.T.’s out there in space looking down upon us studying our bizarre behavior come Dec. 1 of every year. Could they be thinking, “Why are these humanoids chopping down their beloved trees when they are so concerned about global warming?” Or, perhaps they may scratch their weird-shaped, little green heads and think, “Why do Homosapiens climb up ladders to place funny flashing lights on their dwellings – are they trying to make contact with us or what?”

When the people from outer space study us, do they wonder who the big fat guy is that wears a red suit and ask themselves, “Why does this roly poly old dude have all these children around him – and why does he only hang around shopping malls for just one month?

Can you imagine how disjointed we must appear to the aliens on Christmas morning? A bunch of crazed humans gathered around a half-dead tree that has seen better days, whopping it up like savages, ripping the pretty paper off all of the boxes while we scream with delight … If the “E.T.s” can actually see us, they must wonder what the holy heck is going on!!!

Have you ever wondered if people from outer space eat? If they don’t, can you imagine their thoughts watching us devour our Christmas dinner? Maybe the little green men from outer space are green because they are vegetarians and they think our “eating of the flesh” habits are barbaric. God only knows what we’d do if we couldn’t chomp down on a slab of rare prime rib or a turkey drumstick on Christmas! Can you imagine not having some sort of meat or poultry and all the accouterments on Christmas? Could we really manage on a meager diet of veggies for our Christmas celebration? No mashed potatoes, no gravy, no green bean casserole, no crescent rolls, or decorated Christmas cookies? Holy smokes, I almost forgot fruit cake. I wonder if little green men eat fruit cake. I’ll gladly give them the whole darn thing.

Merry Christmas and Happy Stitching!


Talk to us

Please share your story tips by emailing editor@kentreporter.com.

To share your opinion for publication, submit a letter through our website https://www.kentreporter.com/submit-letter/. Include your name, address and daytime phone number. (We’ll only publish your name and hometown.) Please keep letters to 300 words or less.

More in News

t
Kent Police Detective Ford retires after 29 years with department

Helped solve 44-year-old cold case murder in 2024

Courtesy Photo, King County
Prolific tagger faces charges for damage to Kent water tower

Man one of dozens who reportedly tagged properties across King County, including West Hill tower

t
Federal Way man charged in Kent I-5 crash that killed passenger

Documents state that evidence reportedly showed he was the driver, but he blamed the passenger.

The Kent Police Department went all out with their “Moana” themed display - even Maui showed up. Photo by Bailey Jo Josie/Sound Publishing.
The Hogwarts Express pulls into Battle of the Badges | Photos

The 2024 Battle of the Badges took over the Renton Technical College on Dec. 14.

Kent Police Chief Rafael Padilla. COURTESY PHOTO, Kent Police
City of Kent crime numbers drop in 2024 compared to 2023

Vehicle thefts, commercial burglaries and robberies see big decreases

Courtesy Photo, Kent School District
Kent School District says it ‘will do better next time’ with school closures

Late notifications issued about closures after Dec. 18 windstorm

t
Kent Police arrest pair for downtown robbery of pedestrian

Reportedly used pepper spray to attack Kent man, 56, as he walked on sidewalk Dec. 16

Meeker Middle School, one of six schools closed Wednesday, Dec. 18 in the Kent School District due to power outages from a windstorm. COURTESY PHOTO, Kent School District
Windstorm causes closure of six Kent schools due to power outages

Four elementary, two middle schools closed Wednesday, Dec. 18; couple of city roads closed

Volunteers wrap gifts during the 2023 Toys for Joy program. COURTESY PHOTO, Puget Sound Fire
Puget Sound Fire puts out plea for more Toys for Joy donations

Toys needed for children ages 9 to 12; more bikes, scooters requested; deadline is Dec. 20

t
Kent man, 19, faces multiple charges after pursuit near Wenatchee

Driver reportedly fails to stop for state trooper, crashes stolen vehicle along State Route 97

Kent School District Board Director Awale Farah, left, and Superintendent Israel Vela at a high school graduation last summer. COURTESY PHOTO, Kent School District
Awale Farah resigns immediately from Kent School Board

Says because of ‘family commitments’ he cannot fulfill rest of his term that expires in November 2025

t
Kent’s Lower Russell Levee project receives John Spellman Award

City, King County Flood District and other partners recognized for historic preservation