Ask anyone who moved to the Seattle area from elsewhere and they will all tell you the same thing: “I really like living here, but man, you people are the worst drivers in the country.”
It’s true. I am sorry to say it, but it’s absolutely true. Even Jersey drivers point their fingers and shake their heads at Seattle drivers.
And you may not realize it here, but that REALLY says something.
This month, a study was released showing that Seattle actually has the worst traffic congestion in the country, worse than Los Angeles, Chicago and every other major city in the nation. And it wasn’t even that close.
So how can a city that has literally one-quarter the population of LA and one-third that of Chicago have worse traffic? Easy: Worse drivers. It’s the only explanation I can come up with.
I grew up and learned to drive in New York and though New York drivers are a bit aggressive and like to go fast, at least they mostly follow the rules of the road, and more importantly the rules of traffic.
For some reasons, Seattle-area drivers seem to either never have learned the basics or willfully ignore them. I prefer to think it’s the former, but given the deep-rooted passive aggressive streak that seems to be part of the breeding stock out here, I can’t totally rule out the latter.
But something has to give.
For example, my commute takes me through Federal Way and into Tacoma. It’s a 10-lane highway through Federal Way and yet traffic always seems to bog down there. I can’t explain it. There just aren’t THAT many people traveling through there so the problem must be the people who are on the road.
With that in mind, I offer the following tips in the hopes that we can ease all of our commutes. Now, some of these may seem basic but I just want to make sure we cover as much as possible.
1) “Drive right, pass left.” Please – please! – get out of the passing lane if you can. Just in case, left is over there . And never, under any circumstances, should you even considering getting in the left lane if you are not going to at least do the speed limit. The other day I had to pass on the right a woman driving in the passing lane at 40 with her emergency flashers on. Seriously, what is up with that? If you are being passed on the right, there is a 95 percent chance you are in the wrong lane. Move over.
Back in New York, if you are not doing at least 10 mph over the speed limit in the passing lane, you are probably going to get bump-drafted.
2) Maintain a consistent speed. Try this sometime: While on the highway, click on your cruise control and look around. You will be amazed to notice how many cars will speed past you, only to – suddenly and for no reason – slow way down and drop behind you before racing up next to you again. Which brings us to…
3) If you’re going to pass, pass. Why do Washingtonians tend to pull up to pass and then match your speed, even though they have an open road ahead of them? Just pass and then pull back over to the right so that when your speed drops back down to 45, I can get around you on the left. Traffic is a lowest common denominator sport so we can all only go as fast as the guy at the front of the line. If you don’t want to go fast, get out of line.
4) Do not wait until the last possible second to make a turn. If you know your exit is coming, start to plan for it. It boggles my mind how many times I have seen Seattlites wait until the exit ramp begins before making a nearly 90-degree turn from the far left lane (at 45) to try and catch the exit.
5) Do not slam on your brakes just because you cannot see the other side of a curve. I promise, the road will still be there. Watch for this when you are out there: Traffic slows near the crest of a hill or near a curve as driver after driver slams on their brakes because – I am guessing – they think they are going to fall off the Earth because it looks as though the road disappears. I call it the Columbus Syndrome and it confuses me.
6) Red lights mean stop. When I first moved to the area, it used to drive me nuts that after the light turned green, it would take almost 30 seconds before the lead driver would start moving (and using the horn is strictly verboten out here for some reason; in NY it’s practically a dialect…). After a few months, I realized that it wasn’t necessarily that the drivers don’t go on green as much as they don’t stop on red, which means that pulling out on a green light can be dangerous.
And finally…
7) Learn to merge. For the love of all that’s holy, please learn to merge. Start by trying to get up to highway speed by the time you reach the highway. Trying to nudge your way into the road at 35 is not being helpful. Neither is stopping at the top of the on-ramp. But once on the highway, try to take turns merging together: one from the left, one from the right, one from the left. They call it a “zipper merge” for a reason and if you guys can somehow manage to learn that – unlikely as that seems – I guarantee everyone’s commute time cuts nearly in half.
But perhaps the best advice I can offer to help lesson traffic around the area is this: Park it and take the bus.
Seriously, the rest of us have places to go.
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